Again and again we are overwhelmed by the littleness of our lives, the personal demand - our addiction. There is often no breathing moment that permits us to lift up our heads and take the long look and sense how this struggle can possibly add to an ultimate meaning our lives are involved. Thus we see the world of need and necessity and urgency through the greyness of our addiction; through the tussle and wrestling with very great anxieties. We admit that we do not know how to deal with that which awaits us tomorrow, and in our desperation and panic we find ourselves unable to center our spirit upon the meaning of this great and significant moment - we turn to your love for guidance.

Hence we are here, Grace, with all the other addicts of shades, voices and vices - Thy children, each with his or her own life and world of need. We lay gently upon Thy altar our life as it is, and we hold it there, waiting for Thy Spirit to invade our spirits so that we shall burst into the living of our lives with the passion our addiction has sapped - whatever may be the circumstances by which our next minute and the next until those minutes become tomorrow and tomorrow, may be consumed in thriving. For this, O God, we utter in the quietness our thanks and our praise.

This show's theme is to request "guidance so we would not look stupid!!"

The Addict's Prayer for Guidance

This show suffered some technical difficulties - we were unable to engage any phone visitors. It forced me to demonstrate my ability to function under the stress of looking stupid!! Ironically I take away the lesson that our show - life - goes on even if we suffer technical difficulties. Listen to the show archive to see how well I bore up under the stress.

HBO companion Booklet

NIDA Releases Companion Guide to HBO's 'Addiction' Series
February 14, 2007 The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has released a layman's guide to alcohol and other drug addiction to complement the new HBO documentary series "Addiction ," which premieres in Washington, D.C., this week.

"Drugs, Brains, and Behavior: The Science of Addiction" is a 30-page booklet that provides an overview of the science supporting the concept of addiction as a brain disease. Information on prevention and treatment also is included.

"Thanks to science, our views and our responses to drug abuse have changed dramatically, but many people today still do not understand why people become addicted to drugs or how drugs change the brain to foster compulsive drug abuse," said NIDA Director Nora D. Volkow. "This booklet aims to fill that knowledge gap by providing scientific information about the disease of drug addiction in language that is easily understandable to the public."

An online version of the booklet is posted at the NIDA website; PDF and print copies also are available.

Quote for Today

Stupidity does not stand in the way of wisdom, for the disguise of the wise is to avow unknowing

Looking Stupid or what?

The Bush administration's new National Drug Control Strategy ranks prescription-drug misuse right below marijuana use as the nation's biggest drug problem and sets a goal of cutting abuse of prescription medications by 15 percent in the next three years, the New York Times reported Feb. 10.

The document, released by the Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) late last week, calls on states to adopt prescription-drug monitoring programs to combat abuse.

Drug czar John Walters touted a 23-percent decline in illicit-drug use since 2001 but also called for increased drug-testing in schools, saying the U.S. would "look stupid in five or ten years if we don't do this."

Critics responded that the raw number of drug users was less important than whether the overall harm from drug use and prohibition declined -- which they say has not.

Marijuana cost us how much

An analysis of data from the U.S. Justice Department (DOJ) indicates that it is costing American taxpayers about $1 billion annually to incarcerate people for marijuana offenses, AlterNet reported Feb. 10.

DOJ's Bureau of Justice Statistics said in a new report ("Drug Use and Dependence, State and Federal Prisoners, 2004") that 12.7 percent of state inmates and 12.4 percent of federal inmates locked up for drug crimes are marijuana offenders, amounting to about 33,655 state inmates and 10,785 federal inmates. When correlated with DOJ prison spending data, the totals show that the price tag for incarcerating marijuana offenders tops $1 billion annually.

The report said that the non-prison costs of marijuana prosecution in the U.S. amounts to another $8 billion. The FBI recently reported that 786,545 people were arrested on marijuana charges in 2005; about 88 percent were charged only with possession. The FBI figures were an all-time high even though reports say that marijuana consumption in the U.S. is declining.

Drug Dealers in whose neighborhood

Drug traffickers are buying suburban homes -- often in new neighborhoods that offer the cloak of anonymity -- and setting up indoor marijuana-growing operations to avoid detection by police, USA Today reported Feb. 7.

Elaborate hydroponic growing systems have been discovered in dozens of suburban homes in the Sacramento, Calif., area. An organized-crime group based in San Francisco's Chinatown is suspected of running the grow operation. "They're purchasing homes and plunking down marijuana factories smack dab in the middle of our residential neighborhoods," said Gordon Taylor, a DEA agent in Sacramento. "Our theory is they're picking newer neighborhoods because of the relative anonymity. They know the neighbors don't know each other as well as they would in established neighborhoods."

Similar suburban grow operations have been uncovered in Merrillville, Ind.; Westminster, Md.; Kankakee County, Ill., Derry, N.H., Bellevue, Wash., and St. Lucie County, Fla.

Criminal groups are paying up to $750,000 for suburban houses, usually with no money down. The homes are gutted, with all space used for growing marijuana. Utility meters are bypassed to avoid detection due to high utility usage. Some growers even put out trash cans regularly and hire gardeners to tend the property to keep nosy neighbors off the scent.

Responding to technical difficulties

Responding to technical difficulties I refocused the show. I proceeded to discuss my underlying beliefs and hopes for building community. The refocusing also included statements of out reach and invitation to those who are currently listening or will listen to the archive.

Echoing the Voice of Howard Thurman

Introduction to my intellectual and spiritual guide - Howard Thurman. Professor Thurman was the first dean of Rankin Memorial Chapel, Howard University and Professor at Boston University. What his contribution to my approach and sensibilities are is mystical interpretation of Christianity. In fact, all the prayers and meditations I compose are based in those same sensibilities.

I am deeply conscious of my stubborn will - this hard core to my addiction - and my resistance to live in Grace, as it would wisen my mind, make tender my heart, and sensitize my spirit. Not for my addiction - I would yield myself to thee. I would give over into Thy custody the things that disturb me - frighten me - fill my days with uneasiness and my nights with the kind of gloom and foreboding that challenges my sleep - so I stay awake in misery. This I want to do no more but I can not stop - my mind battles - my addiction holds. Besides, I am never sure I can be trusted to close my eyes for fear I would only awake the same - addicted. To be rid of this fear - to expose myself in ways that would destroy this sick balance is my prayer of prayers. This small seed of your Grace is all that keeps me from leaping in to the void of death.

I wait!

I wait now for Thy Presence with the silent hope that something may transpire within me and over come this hold of addiction. - would it but tip me in ways to make for peace - a full nights sleep. While I wait I search my mind for that memory of those whose lives are a part of me in ways that are direct and sure. I would include them in this waiting moment, but there again, our Father, I am not sure that is what I really want to do. I wait, that my spirit may be clarified and my willingness may be at the disposal of that seed of Grace you placed in my heart.

I wait!

With all arrogances put side, with all weaknesses laid bare, with all my deep-lying hungers exposed, I wait. I wait for the baptism of Thy Spirit. My continuing to wait gives me inspiration that Grace has not abandon me. My waiting shows me again that Thy seed grows stronger in my heart. I wait - for if this be Thy will, it is enough, O God.

I wait as you teach me resilience.